PDA and PDA Burnout
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PDA - which means Pathological Demand Avoidance, but we much prefer Persistent Drive for Autonomy or Pervasive Demand for Autonomy, has been known about since the early 1980s. The term was introduced by Elizabeth Newson, describing it as ‘resistance and avoidance of the everyday responsibilities, even when it is beneficial for them to comply’.
As a PDAer myself I am very aware of the fact that I have a nervous system that reacts strongly to all manner of external and internal demands, in fact demands are experienced as a threat, even everyday demands. I am also aware of how damaging neuro-normative expectations are for me and hierarchical systems that demand compliance rather than giving me autonomy and agency.
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A PDA individual shares a lot of the same characteristics that lead to a person being identified as autistic, but there are some very distinct differences. In fact some adjustments that might be considered for autistic people can be really debilitating for us PDAers, such as routines and structure, etc. PDA is not something that all autistic or other neurodivergent people experience, it is not an experience at all actually, but a way of being wired. Autistic people, ADHDers, AuDHDers, etc, can experience demand avoidance and this is linked to differences in executive functioning (task initiation) and being monotropic, but that doesn’t make them a PDAer. For many neurodivergent people demand avoidance can increase significantly during periods of burnout and again this does not mean they are a PDAer. However for those with what we call 'internalised PDA', which has a more subtle presentation, then burnout can often mean that what was internalised becomes externalised and therefore some have discovered that actually they are in fact also PDA. This realisation for many makes so much sense of their profile as a person and the challenges they have faced - which probably led to burnout.
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Some common PDA experiences
•A very strong, persistent and permanent need for autonomy in everything and having their own agenda from young
•Avoidance, resistance of anything experienced as a demand. Avoidance and resistance may be expressed in various ways such as what are known as social strategies - feigning illness or an injury, fibs, excuses, fantasy, delaying, diverting or making threats.
•PDAers have a very sensitive autonomic nervous system – they experience a fight/flight/freeze response in the face of demands. Demands are a threat
•Some PDAers might role-play - being a person, character, animal or role they play may feel safer being than being themselves.
•Might be sociable and may engage well in social situations, might be very articulate, giving good eye contact, but may lack depth, being a ‘social butterfly’.
•They are more likely to be focussed on other people (real or imagined) with possible obsessive behaviour
•Can struggle to ‘find their place’ in a social hierarchy including within a family, with friends and in society. This is due to the need for a level playing field where they have equity, agency and autonomy.
•Routines and structures might be strongly resisted and avoided, especially if they are not from them or involving them; they can be experienced as demands and expectations.
•They can experience panic and big mood swings that can turn into meltdowns. This can be due to a perceived or actual loss of autonomy.
•They can experience a constant state of hypervigilance with others. There might only be a few people they feel safe or safer with.
Externalised and internalised PDA and equalising
Many assume that PDA means that resistance and open refusals and avoidance will always be on display for the world to see (often leading to accusations of being controlling and manipulative I might add!) But for some their experience is internalised and may be completely missed, meaning their need for autonomy and for a level playing field is missed also.
Hierarchy and autonomy
PDAers can fully understand ‘authority’ and ‘hierarchy’ but their need for fairness and justice can lead to a very strong threat reaction in the face of these things. If there is any sense of hierarchy or if push back is detected then this can lead to a sense of injustice, a loss of equity, control and agency. The result can be what we call equalising- a subconscious response and not a conscious decision to punish other people in fact it might well be something they wish they could stop doing.
Equalising can look like exerting power and control to get a balance back. It is essentially seeking to get equity, balance and autonomy. Internalised PDAers may turn this equalising in on themselves – self harm, eating disorder, stopping talking, suicidal ideation, etc.
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More about equalising can be found here https://www.rabbishoshana.com/post/what-is-equalizing-and-what-s-the-difference-between-equalizing-and-abuse
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Demands
Demands can be anything where fro example a response is expected, anticipated or insisted upon. These can be everyday things that a non PDAer might take for granted. The demands themselves are experienced by the PDA nervous system as a threat, as danger and the survival brain (limbic system/amygdala) is triggered to keep the individual safe. The demands that lead to this response are different for every PDAer, we are not carbon copies of each other.
Internal demands - which may be self imposed such as perfectionism, the inner critic, 'shoulds and musts', but also interoception signals from body
External demands - which may be direct, subtle, hidden expectations, societal or from family and friends
PDA Burnout
